How can you increase your bedroom confidence? You are certainly not alone if you are asking yourself this question. Everyone has a lapse in bedroom confidence at some point because sex is a tough thing to get your head around. Not everyone is super confident baring all and exposing themselves to their partner (mentally and physically). The bedroom can make us feel unsure and vulnerable but that’s okay. We’ve compiled 5 ways to be more confident in the bedroom so have a read and try out our suggestions.
How to increase your confidence in the bedroom
- Learn to love your body
- Practise makes perfect
- Know what you want
- Positive thoughts!
- Wear what feels good
Learn to love your body
Number one step to being more confident in the bedroom is to love yourself! We all look in that mirror and point out every little flaw to ourselves on a daily basis, but a little self-love can go a long way. If we learn to accept our curves, lumps and bumps as something that makes us unique then we can condition our mind to view ourselves in a more positive light. Rather than looking at your reflection and seeing the negative, why not identify some positives. What do you like about your body? List those things in your head and fixate on those rather than the things you want to change. We should all be kinder to ourselves and stop comparing our bodies to friends or Instagram models or unrealistic portrayals of women in the media. You are you! Dr. Alexandra Solomon says we should treat ourselves the way we would treat a “dear friend”. She has a point here. If you treat your body as a friend, you will absolutely be kinder to yourself. Ultimately if we love the way we look, we won’t be afraid to show off our curves and bedroom confidence will soon follow.
Practise makes perfect
Maybe your bedroom confidence isn’t about your body image. Maybe you are completely happy with the way you look and not afraid to show it off. A lack of confidence in the bedroom can sometimes be down to a lack of experience. Do you feel unsure of yourself because you don’t know what you are doing? You are not alone! Plenty of girls out there are having these exact same thoughts right now so firstly take comfort in the fact that everyone will go through this at some point. But the way out of this uncertainty is simply practised. The more familiar you are with the bedroom and your partner, the easier it will become. Eventually, you will be rocking that confidence. So, don’t shy away or avoid that intimacy, because you are scared, take the bull by the horns and go for it!
Know what you want
It’s no secret that your partner will probably love you to take the reigns and be dominant. But how can you do that if your bedroom confidence is lacking? Well, we think you need to get comfortable with your body and know exactly what you want. The best way to do that is with some alone time. Get yourself an adult toy and start experimenting with your body. Find what you enjoy (sex is as much about you as it is about your partner). If you become a master of self-love then you will fully understand your body and know exactly what to do the next time you and your partner are in the mood. If you need to invest in some toys then check out our pleasure room here > it’s full of rabbits, vibrators and massagers.
Now, this may seem silly but trust us, the way you think about yourself can have a major impact on your actions and life in general. Sometimes it’s as simple as chanting a positive mantra to yourself on a daily basis. “I am sexy”, “I am confident” repeated to yourself over and over can actually stick. Our brain loves repetition and things which confirm what you already know. So simply telling yourself you are enough, could actually result in you genuinely believing it. Before you dismiss this as rubbish, there is some pretty strong science behind this. Psychologists call this ‘positive affirmations’ where you simply repeat a phrase to yourself to challenge the negative beliefs you have. If you think you are not sexy then simply tell yourself you are sexy! This may take some time but is definitely worth a try. Our brains are pretty special and capable of a lot more than you think. It’s all about learning to view ourselves in a more positive light. You may not believe us but simply repeating positive mantras can change the brains structure! If you are interested it’s called neural plasticity, give it a google.
Wear what feels good
So aside from changing your biology, there is a super simple way to feel more confident in the bedroom. Wear lingerie that makes you feel sexy! Even the most unconfident women in the world will have put on an outfit they loved and felt a little glimmer of positivity. Clothing can affect the way we feel and the way we view ourselves. So, what you choose to wear in the bedroom is super important. It’s not superficial. If a sexy matching set makes you feel more confident then go for that! If you think suspenders will make you feel like a badass, then give them a go. We are a big advocate of sexy lingerie for all women as it really can make you feel amazing. We have a style for every body type, taste and budget so get browsing > Sometimes all you need is a new lingerie set or seductive nightwear piece to give you that bedroom confidence boost.